Yes, it's your responsibility to heal. But you know what? It's okay to be angry about it. It's okay to be sad about it. It's okay to feel like it isn't fair, because you know what? It isn't fair! And you're allowed to feel that and acknowledge that. You deserved so much better.
Part of healing is letting yourself be angry. Part of healing is letting yourself grieve. Healing isn't all love, light and positive vibes.
Trying to find something to motivate myself and I found this little line from Van Gogh
[Illustrations of the quote “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now, for wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” The first panel has a tree, the second a seedling, the third wheat, and the fourth Vincent Van Gogh in a wheat field.]
"your [disability/disorder/mental illness] doesnt make you weak !!!"
okay, but... what if it does?
mentally, i'm not always strong. i have a lot of moments of weakness. i cry a lot, i overreact, i spend days isolating myself because socializing is so exhausting. my anxiety gets so bad that it physically exhausts me, it makes me sick to my stomach i have to sleep for hours to recover. physically, im weaker. i cant carry heavy things for long periods, i have to rest FREQUENTLY, im constantly exhausted.
so what, so why is being weak bad? does it make you a bad person? does it make you unworthy of love, of respect, of compassion? of course not.
your "strength" does not determine your worth. your value is not determined by what you can (physically or mentally) do for others or for society. you have value just by being.
take care of yourself. dont push yourself just because you feel like you need to be seen as "strong."
“The most important thing in life is to stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will.’ Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.”
—
Charles Dickens
